the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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