Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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