gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
