also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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