so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
