When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
