I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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