Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
