you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
