you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize