if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours