trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?