Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm too high and old for this...