i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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