I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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