officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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