I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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