when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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