I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
