I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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