Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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