My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He felt like a one man threesome
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
