This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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