just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
