Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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