The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
