Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
