Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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