Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
