Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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