He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize