seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
