Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.

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  (951): now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria. http://tfl.nu/9jm0
  Replies (29) Good night (782) Bad night (6485)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job

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  (904): Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job http://tfl.nu/2lgs
  Replies (43) Good night (1075) Bad night (5409)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy

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  (513): She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy http://tfl.nu/sgsn
  Replies (25) Good night (895) Bad night (5153)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.

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  (651): i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college. http://tfl.nu/te2e
  Replies (15) Good night (7695) Bad night (1132)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...

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  (519): like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar... http://tfl.nu/2jmm
  Replies (10) Good night (2561) Bad night (1500)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

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  (817): Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system.... http://tfl.nu/zett
  Replies (9) Good night (2892) Bad night (903)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...

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  (804): I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts... http://tfl.nu/vjl2
  Replies (5) Good night (2224) Bad night (624)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?

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  (603): She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep? http://tfl.nu/8ccn
  Replies (11) Good night (1518) Bad night (751)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.

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  (218): I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now. http://tfl.nu/xd1f
  Replies (7) Good night (635) Bad night (1167)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.

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  (215): Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro. http://tfl.nu/nta7
  Replies (11) Good night (1968) Bad night (522)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.

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  (905): At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance! (905): I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more. http://tfl.nu/b1ur
  Replies (2) Good night (1149) Bad night (427)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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  (432): They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED! http://tfl.nu/73e9
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (408)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20

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  (203): I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20 http://tfl.nu/grr6
  Replies (0) Good night (478) Bad night (305)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage

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  (757): He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage http://tfl.nu/ukt4
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (209)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now

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  (239): If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now http://tfl.nu/p1pa
  Replies (3) Good night (418) Bad night (140)

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