Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.