I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize