Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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