Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
