I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize