so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Drake has all the answers
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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