The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
do nipples grow back?
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