Got a toothbrush?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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