Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
