Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your cock deserves a montage
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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