goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.