So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Houston, we have a squirter
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing