I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
