Cold hands, warm shart.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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