I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
