I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize