Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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