Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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