no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
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I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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