Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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