One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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